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The Trouble With Trouble...


My stepdaughter can be beautiful & kind & caring & loving but sometimes, she lets this demon take over her and it's so hard watch it & to take the brunt of her blows.  Let me backup, when I came into the picture over four years ago, I was entering a dysfunctional situation - a single dad raising two pre-teen daughters who's mother came & go as SHE pleased.  Goose trying to make up for the girls not having a mother pretty much let them do whatever they wanted & without consequences.

The girls hated me at first, Trouble more so then Sunshine.  Trouble had just turned 12 & with thoughts of how terrible I was from her mother (who didn't know me from Adam), she had a difficult time.  But I fought my way in & have been more of a mother to her than her real mother.  I choose that role, I wanted to help these girls & be there for them.

Fast forward.  

Trouble & I have had our ups & downs like most mother/daughters do & it's so hard for me & her.  Her outbursts were more than just typical teenage episodes so I had to give Goose an ultimatum, she goes to counseling & we figure out what is going on with her as I truly believed that she was misdiagnosed with ADHD or I'm gone cuz with every outburst she had, I died a little more as I felt like I was just getting stabbed over & over again.  He finally agreed to get her tested.

We found out on Friday that she, in fact, does not have ADHD.  She has an anger/impulsive/anxiety disorder.  The anger, from her childhood & her relationship with her mother, I'm sure.  Impulsive just like her father.  Anxiety from her poor decisions that come with her anger & impulsive behavior.  At this time, we will not medicate her, we're going to allow her a chance to work out those issues with her counselor as the medication would be a form of pills for autism & she wouldn't be able to be on those when she joins the Navy like she wants to.

I'm hopeful that she can work through these issues on her own.  She has the power, she has the control to make herself a better person & be the beautiful, kind, caring, loving girl I know she can be.

Without sounding like I'm bashing general practitioners, be sure to deal with a counselor when trying to figure out if your child has some kind of "mental disorder".  I really believe that the ADHD diagnosis is thrown out there WAY too much & it may or may not be that.  Trouble actually told me yesterday that many of her classmates have been misdiagnosed with ADHD & I can totally see that.  Just make sure that your child is taken care of & they are diagnosed correctly.  & that, my friends, is the end of my public announcement.  : )

Comments

  1. It's great that you're letting her work out her problems (or try to) before using medicine. People over-medicate kids so much instead of just finding the root of the problem and working through it. You clearly are an amazing stepmom! Those girls are so lucky to have you :)

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    1. Thanks, love! I'm just doing what's right for these young ladies. I knew when she was on the ADHD pills, she was not the same girl. I may discuss giving her St. John's Wort, natural. :)

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  2. I toon St. John's Wort and it helped a little. Hopefully she can get straightened out. The military will be good for her. She'll get that attitude knocked out of her REAL fast :)

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    1. When she told me that she was thinking of going into the Navy, I really encouraged her to do so as I really do believe it will be the best thing for her. She just has to mind her P's & Q's.

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  3. Poor girl!! She's experience a rough road as a young girl, thank goodness she has you and her dad as her foundation now! Good for you for insisting she get diagnosed! I really hope counseling helps her! Just knowing what's going on and how to deal with that is half the battle! You guys will get through this!!

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    1. Thanks, girlie! I think that we're all a little more at ease now that we know what we're dealing with & that it can be dealt with without medicating her. So, we'll take it one day at a time & hopefully she'll use her techniques that her counselor gives her & be the good person I know that she is.

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  4. She's so lucky to have you in her life. I really hope that she will be able to work out these demons that continuously haunt her. I'm glad that you stuck to your "guns" and instead of just medicating her were able to get to the root of the problem.

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    1. Thank you. I do what I can...but you already know that. I'm glad that we figured out what we're dealing with & I'm gonna do some research & look for some "natural" stuff that may help her - supplements, oils, etc. She WILL be an upstanding lady if it's the last thing I do! Ha!

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  5. You are amazing! Walking in in the middle of the teenage years can definitely be hard but it sounds like you guys have become close and I know she will cherish that relationship in the years to come.

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    1. I'm really trying but it is really difficult, believe me. & I know that she will appreciate what I'm doing for her, she may not at the time & think that I'm this horrible person but I'm doing what needs to be done for her.

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